Ninja Cleaning Ladies, Ants, and Pre-Toasted Bread: Things I Miss That I Did Not Know I Would Miss.

I have been home from Honduras for a week now, and the expected amounts of nostalgia and longing for the city I spent my time in and the people I worked with has set it, but with that, something completely unexpected has come with it! I am finding myself missing things that I NEVER IN MY LIFE thought I would miss! And, in an effort to stop blogging about poop, I have decided to share these things with you. So, without further ado, I present to you all,

 

Things I Miss That I Did Not Know I Would Miss: An Annotated List by Isaac J. Anthony.

 

1. Ninja Cleaning Ladies

 

 

I spent my time in Honduras working at a school, and the cleaning ladies that worked at the school were no ordinary cleaning ladies. They were NINJAS, I tell you! I would leave an item sitting for, I make no exaggeration, less than the 60 seconds it takes to make a minute to go do something, and upon my return, the item would be nowhere to be found. I would go searching for it and find it five minutes later on a shelf in a room somewhere on the grounds. Now while I was in Honduras this was somewhat of a frustration, but now that I have come home, I miss the adventure of it! Now, when I walk out of a room and return a few minutes later, all my items are exactly where I left them. So boring! There was something so adventurous about never knowing where my belongings would end up, like an eternal scavenger hunt! Sometimes I get so frustrated with my lifeless possessions that I reprimand them, exclaiming “Don’t you want to be free?! Don’t you want to live your life?!” But they just sit there, motionless, boring.

 

2. Ants

 

Oh Lord. If I have not yet told you, which I’m sure I have, there is no question in my mind who runs the country of Honduras, despite what one might hear in the media about power struggles our coups: it’s the ants. The ants are EVERYWHERE, and they do WHATEVER they want, because there is nothing we can do to stop them and they know it! By sheer number they overwhelm us, strategically taking what they desire without suffering a single repercussion for their actions. If the ants want the ziplocked, Tupperware-protected sugar supply today, they will simply overcome all the protections we have put in place and take their spoils. We are powerless against their schemes. And every night, as I went to sleep, I would see the ever-present, steady stream of ants marching along the wall above my bed, my living headboard. Now, at home again, I oddly miss these little thieves in the night. The walls are so still and I feel so lazy not having to do anything to protect my food. Life without ants can be a little lonely, sometimes.

 

3. Danielito

 

 

This is Danielito.

 

Danielito is the son of one of the aforementioned ninja cleaning ladies, and he and I had a rough start. He is cute, yes? Well he’s a VILLAIN.

 

 

Perhaps Danielito and I were enemies in a former life or something, I don’t know, but I tell you today that he wreaked havoc on myself and my fellow interns through my six weeks in the country. He was sort of like an ant, a little, evil, ant, who likewise took what he pleased and got what he wanted. But sitting here today, looking at his little picture, I miss that little rascal. Evil? Yes. But cute? Oh so cute.

 

 

Come back to me, Danielito. We’ll be friends forever.

 

4. Pre-Toasted Bread

 

 

Why don’t we have this? So convenient! So tasty!

 

5. Being the Only Person with White Skin

 

Honduras, as I am sure that you are already aware, is a Central American country, and the majority of its inhabitants have beautifully tanned skin. I, as you have probably noticed, don’t. Because of this severe contrast between the color of my skin and the color of the skin of most of the people around me, I definitely “stood out” among the crown.

 

 

But being home among a much more diverse population of people of all skin tones, I miss my snow-like singularity. As I would walk onto the public bus and every head on board would cock in my direction in perfect unison, watching my every move as I made my way to my seat, I felt like “Who’s That Guy” from Grease 2 was playing and I was that mysterious stranger who everybody wanted to know. This would only last, of course, until I tripped in the aisle and sang an operatic aria on my way down, thus shattering the illusion.

 

 

But still, I can’t help but feel like every person with white skin that I see now is stealing my thunder.

 

I CAN’T HELP IT, I SAY.

 

Toasting Bread Without Any Ant Friends to Keep Me Company,

 

Isaac.